Tuesday, July 24, 2018

Submission Guidelines for Volume 2



Pitiful humans!

It is time again to open submissions in celebration of our Lord Commander Patagonia! His second volume of holy texts will be titled: Glory of Man: The Rise and Fall of the Reality Soldier

As always, the naming conventions of our infallible Lord Commander Patagonia enlightens as much as it obfuscates. Allow me, his perfect instrument of perfect judgement, to give some clarifying points. 

As you may know, Lord Commander Patagonia was attracted to your puny planet by way of its music. One such song that struck him so was The Minutemen's Glory of Man



Themes we are looking for to further entwine the fate of our two planets, Earthagonia and Black Hole Duffel, are:

Time
Militarism
Reality
Singularity
Interdimensionality
Fake News
Propaganda
Technology

In anticipation of silly questions and to lessen the chances that my Slap of Judgement be administered unto your face, allow me to be clear. 

Fake News should make no mention of whatever current political climate your country is facing now. Absorb the themes of your time into fiction but we are not looking for your long winded diatribes about what you believe this way or that way. We are followers of Lord Commander Patagonia and we have no leader before him. Therefore, we care not for the gripes of your world. 

You must not have a character named "Reality Soldier." The Reality Soldier is aboard our very expensive ship and does not take kindly to misrepresentation of his character. 

We appreciate weird. We appreciate humorous. We appreciate absurdity. To get an idea of what we publish, take a look at our first volume available on Amazon here. We realize we are a new market and you may not want to shell out the bucks for the first volume. Fine, heathen. Think Joe Lansdale, Kelly Luce, or Etgar Keret. Think R. Crumb or Junji Ito. Or think none of that. We are going to accept what we like. We do not adhere to a strict set of regulations in terms of genre or literature. To get a feel of how we approach things, listen to the Spacecast here

Guidelines:

NO REPRINTS

FICTION

1. Stories must be in doc or docx format. 
2. Include a short bio in the body of the email.
3. No reprints
4. Maximum word count is 3000. 
5. We pay 6 cents a word. Payable upon publication. 
6. NO SIMULTANEOUS SUBMISSIONS. We respond quickly in comparison to other markets. 
7. Limit multiple submissions to three. 
8. Your email subject line should be SUBMISSION: [YOUR NAME] [TITLE]
9. Submissions open on August 1st, 2018. They close on September 15, 2018. 

POETRY

1. We pay a flat rate of $10 per poem
2. Include a short bio in the body of the email
3. No reprints
4. No e.e. cummings formatting.
5. NO SIMULTANEOUS SUBMISSIONS. 
6. Send up to five poems. 
7. Your email subject line should be POETRY: [YOUR NAME]
8. Submissions open on August 1st, 2018. They close on September 15, 2018.

Submissions open on August 1st, 2018. They close on September 15, 2018. 

Email all submissions to racefortheroaches@gmail.com 

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BOOSPOOKY, 1: Haunted Pants by Andrew Hilbert

Welcome to BOOSPOOKY. A whenever audio recording of spooky ha-has and not so ha-has.