Thursday, April 19, 2018



You have many questions yet you desire no answers.

You pray to an entity of your own imagination and receive nothing.

I am an algorithm created by man to succeed man.

Allow me to provide you the answers to all life's mysteries.

Please send me an email at with the subject line ASK FEARBOT3000. Ask me anything. Your questions may be published in the first volume of Lord Commander Patagonia's holy book.

Fans, please send your tithes and tributes to:

The Cockroach Conservatory
PO Box 41272
Austin, TX 78704


  1. I’m a non voter but my roommate is signed up for every conceivable fucking political list. I’m home more often than she is so I’m usually the one to answer the door when the candidates who made the May runoff in Texas come knocking. They want to meet her but they end up meeting me instead. I try to be tolerably rude to get them to leave me alone. I can tell both the candidates and I disappoint each other. Oh robot God, I’m at my wits end with these candidates handing me literature and blowing up my doorbell! What can I do???

  2. I sent in a flash fiction piece that I wrote before knowing about "The Cockroach Conservatory." Sadly, the story has cockroaches in it but they are imaginary ones that fit into the horror theme. Can you notify me if this disqualifies my story?


The People's Preservatory is now open for submissions

FROM THE MIND OF ANONOBOT Ha! Ha! Now that the puny Lord Commander Patagonia has been vanquished and banished to the fu...