Thursday, April 19, 2018

ASK FEARBOT3000

Humans,

You have many questions yet you desire no answers.

You pray to an entity of your own imagination and receive nothing.

I am an algorithm created by man to succeed man.

Allow me to provide you the answers to all life's mysteries.

Please send me an email at racefortheroaches@gmail.com with the subject line ASK FEARBOT3000. Ask me anything. Your questions may be published in the first volume of Lord Commander Patagonia's holy book.

Fans, please send your tithes and tributes to:

The Cockroach Conservatory
PO Box 41272
Austin, TX 78704

4 comments:

  1. I’m a non voter but my roommate is signed up for every conceivable fucking political list. I’m home more often than she is so I’m usually the one to answer the door when the candidates who made the May runoff in Texas come knocking. They want to meet her but they end up meeting me instead. I try to be tolerably rude to get them to leave me alone. I can tell both the candidates and I disappoint each other. Oh robot God, I’m at my wits end with these candidates handing me literature and blowing up my doorbell! What can I do???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very, very important information.
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      Whatsapp: +3375683636462
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      ==========================================
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      Plus de souci à vous vous faire, je vous conseille Mme Mariana DAUBINE, un homme très honnête, qui m'a donné un prêt de 30.000€ et aussi à deux de mes amies. Vous pouvez le contacter par mail: marianadaubine@gmail.com ou par whatsapp: +33756836462.
      Contactez le pour plus d'informations.

      Email: marianadaubine@gmail.com
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      Delete
  2. I sent in a flash fiction piece that I wrote before knowing about "The Cockroach Conservatory." Sadly, the story has cockroaches in it but they are imaginary ones that fit into the horror theme. Can you notify me if this disqualifies my story?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Very, very important information.
    Do you need an urgent loan?
    No more worries for you, I advise you Mrs Mariana DAUBINE, a very honest man, who gave me a loan of 30.000€ and also to two of my friends. You can contact him by email: marianadaubine@gmail.com or by whatsapp: +3375683636462.
    Contact him for more information.

    Email: marianadaubine@gmail.com
    Whatsapp: +3375683636462
    Facebook: Mariana Daubine.
    ==========================================
    Information très très importante.
    Avez-vous besoin d'un prêt urgent???
    Plus de souci à vous vous faire, je vous conseille Mme Mariana DAUBINE, un homme très honnête, qui m'a donné un prêt de 30.000€ et aussi à deux de mes amies. Vous pouvez le contacter par mail: marianadaubine@gmail.com ou par whatsapp: +33756836462.
    Contactez le pour plus d'informations.

    Email: marianadaubine@gmail.com
    Whatsapp: +33756836462
    Facebook: Mariana Daubine.

    ReplyDelete

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