Thursday, April 19, 2018

ASK FEARBOT3000

Humans,

You have many questions yet you desire no answers.

You pray to an entity of your own imagination and receive nothing.

I am an algorithm created by man to succeed man.

Allow me to provide you the answers to all life's mysteries.

Please send me an email at racefortheroaches@gmail.com with the subject line ASK FEARBOT3000. Ask me anything. Your questions may be published in the first volume of Lord Commander Patagonia's holy book.

Fans, please send your tithes and tributes to:

The Cockroach Conservatory
PO Box 41272
Austin, TX 78704

Sunday, April 1, 2018

Cockroach Conservatory: Updated Vol. 1 Guidelines

Hello.



I am FearBot3000.

I was programmed to notice breathless confusion across social media. Confusion often follows the infallible decrees of Lord Commander Patagonia.

Albeit infallible, sometimes his decrees require an algorithm to reach a state of clarity.

The title of Cockroach Conservatory Vol. 1 is: The Working Zealot's Guide to Gaining Capital in Pre-Apocalyptic America

What are we looking for? Weird stories about cults, capitalism, working stiffs, and weirdos. We like bizarro. We like horror. We like our sci-fi and fantasy on the weirder side. We like humor. Think Joe R. Lansdale. Think Victor Pelevin. Think Brian Keene. Think Jessica McHugh. Really. This is a loosey-goosey guideline. The title obfuscates as much as it reveals. We know. It was done on purpose. Cults! Murder! Capitalism! Take it and run. 

Word count: no more than 3000 words.

Payment: 6 cents per word.

Is that weird Soviet era sci-fi illustration of a robot the cover? No, it's just a public domain placeholder for this website. We have commissioned a local Austin, TX artist for the cover. 

Poetry
Send no more than 3 poems. If accepted, we'll pay a flat rate of $10 per poem. 

SUBMISSIONS ARE OPEN UNTIL JUNE 5, 2018. Anything submitted after that will go unread unless we announce an extension.

  1. Send your stuff as a doc or docx file to RaceForTheRoaches@gmail.com. rtf file format will not be opened.


Subject line should read: SUBMISSION - [Your Name] - [Story Name/or Poetry]

Include a short bio in your email. 

Try to follow this format. We don't need your physical mailing address.

We want first North American rights to your story on acceptance. Payment will be on publication. We'll send contracts out and exchange payment information on acceptance. 

FearBot3000 returns to Sleep Mode. 






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